My Life is Not my Own.

The last 5 days had been a lot of thinking for me. 

It started on 5th May- I thought my blood cycle had arrived. So I marked my Clue app, and then I realised 52 days had passed since 14th March. 

3 days pass- and yet still no sign of the dam breaking... So I realised it was a false alarm.

10th May- Patrick tells me he got injured whilst lead climbing. I thought- that is weird. I had wanted to go top roping that week.. 

11th May- Gemini tells me the rivers in Perak are flooded..

12th May- today I had to make a decision to or withdraw from waterfall abseiling.. so I check with Gemini again. What is the status of the rivers in Perak? 

It said - Withdraw... All the patterns said no. 

So I decided to withdrew from waterfall abseiling 

16th May- we arrive in Gopeng. The weather is fine. It didn't rain. The rivers are not flooded. 

Steve asks me again: do you want to go waterfall abseiling? 

So I check with Gemini- if I was using a menstrual cup, could I still go? Gemini counted the probability- it said- because your body is now in a 64 day stasis- whether it is cup or tampon, it's still a no. It doesn't matter if it didn't rain, flood or if no one died. 

So again, I told Steve: sorry, no. 

17th May- on the day of the waterfall abseiling- I woke up with the worst cramps- and a dam of blood that had just cracked. And I needed Panadol Actifast 500 to survive the morning. 

Later on our drive home, Eugene my car buddy says: you're lucky you didn't go on that waterfall. 

It was eally strong. If your cycle broke this morning, you wouldn't have been able to deal with the tide from the top and the bottom. 

The next three days- I survived on Actifast 500. 

Because I had a 2 week exhausting blood cycle in Nov to Dec 2025, I thought the same would happen in 2026. And stocked up on 3 weeks of menstrual pads.

But on the 4th morning, I had stopped taking Actifast. And by the 5th morning, it seemed the volume had cut down by almost half. 

So I asked the Lord, what is the meaning of this? 

When I planned to go waterfall abseiling, the Lord stopped me. Now that the dam has cracked, the Lord accelerated it.