The article below by McAllister writes that love is when you are respected in a relationship for who you are, when you are not manipulated, or capitalized on for what you can bring into it.
How many times have we done something to please someone else to make them happy, but deep in our hearts we know that it is not what we want to do?
Then we feel disgusted with ourselves for that because it is not true to who we are.
If there is one thing I've learnt in the last year, it is that we cannot change someone. We can't do things to make them love us more.
I like how McAllister writes,
When we compromise our beliefs and abandon our morals just to feed our desires or to please and ultimately change someone else, we lose.The only thing we can out of respect for ourselves, os listen to our convictions, and our morals. It is only when we learn to love ourselves, and do what is right and respect ourselves, that we can be able to demand respect from someone else.
In the movie, the character enters a BDSM relationship with the man. I'm sure at the back of the her mind, she thinks she can change him.
Well, hello, sex without commitment is just that: SEX. It is not healthy, and tastes like sweet candy, but lots of calories and makes you feel sick after that.
It takes two parties to negotiate a tango dance.
Like in dancing, If one party doesn't want to be in a relationship, yet still drag the other into the deep waters, and the latter does not mind, yet still follows, the latter has no one to blame but themselves if the former decides to find a new lover.
If you know what LOVE is, you would respect yourself and kick a guy out the moment he told you that he no longer wanted to be with you. Have some self-respect.
Why would you waste your time in a relationship that is unfulfilling and unsatisfactory?
Why do you waste your time with a person who is manipulative, hoping that he will change?
When you make space for the new, you move on with your life, and do things that are fulfilling and purposeful in your life.
Fifty Shades of Grey is a fiction. Please don't even think any more than that.