Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Tasmania: Letting a dream die



Everyone needs to take a break from time to time. I took a break to Tasmania to declutter my mind and take some time off from all the people in Sydney, familiar scenery, my normal routine.

It was good to spend some time with Miaw and her family. It was fantastic actually to see how she manages her home, her two homestay teenagers, and how she manages cost keeping in managing her family.

It was something different to my single life, and all my single friends who live in our rented homes, and do not have any kids to look after, or a husband to manage relations with.

In Hobart, I spent my time visiting some places, and in the evenings, I joined Miaw at home for dinner.

The last two days of my stay, I offered to cook... and bake. I was not familiar with the induction stove, though, and I still do not like induction stoves for whatever reasons they were made for. I am still the traditional gas stove and iron cast and teflon coated pans person. LOL.

I also enjoyed helping out drying the dishes (did not go as far as washing the dishes), and picking up hair from the bathroom floor. LOL.

It just reminded me of the duties and common courtesy that people should engage in when living with others, like cleaning up dishes after you are done with it, and clearing all your rubbish, not leaving it for others to pick up after you as these are life skills, as when I reached home in Sydney, the kitchen was left like a bomb had just gone through it. I was not very pleased.

Did I find what I was looking for during my time away?

Well, I didn't "find anything".  But the few days of spending time in Hobart helped to loosen me from my normal routine and make me forget about my anxiety and things I would normally do in Sydney. I spent quite a few days on my own walking and exploring the beaches, checking out the snow on Mount Wellington, checking out farmers market, even the K&D Warehouse was interesting as I checked out the plants and flowers, considering I rarely enter warehouses in Sydney.

Did I miss Sydney?

Yes, I did.

The day after returning, I was watching a number of youtube streaming videos from HTB Church with Ken Costa sharing his sermons. (It's a vibrant Anglican church based in London). Yes, I like how the English speak, and Ken Costa studied at Cambridge).

With all the time spent in solitude, I believe I was ready to listen to the whispers of God when He now speaks to me.

God whispers into my heart. 

One of the sermons that spoke to me was from his sermon Prosperity in Adversity. In that, Costa reminds us that failures does not mean our dreams have died. But perhaps failures is a fulfillment of a dream that is waiting to come to past. The Plan B that I have may actually be God's Plan A for my life just waiting to come to pass.

Those who dream WILL be disappointed. Those who are determined to embrace disappointment will see their destiny fulfilled.

Indeed, I was struggling in letting a dream die, and it was the letting go of my pride in saying that I did not want to be a failure. I was not willing to let go and kept holding on to my own dreams out of fear and of pride. I was not sure if I was fighting with man, or with God, but pride was the core of the problem.

In retrospect, I felt that God had to pull me out of the circumstances so that He could now step in and intervene.

Costa also reminds us that it does not mean we should call ourselves a failure, as that would mean that our trust in God would be a failure.

Costa yet states that we should not linger and to move on from our failures and disappointments. Learn from our mistakes. We can try and fail. But we should not fail to try. Put that far behind us and move on. Fail often. Fail early. Don't hold back.

But continue to dream, and dream determinedly and dream BIG!

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