Breaking the curse of Low self esteem

Recently I had found the subject of low self esteem to be something of interest to me. 

Having suffered from the curse of low self esteem for the past forty years of my life, it is currently a pet project of mine. 

Even as a child of God, who believes in the sacrifice of Christ who has died for us, it still does not take away our low self esteem as much as we try to identify with Christ and what He has done for us. 

Having grown up in a traditional Chinese family, many of us are familiar with how our parents have tried to blackmail us into obedience.  It unfortunately has not bode very well for us in developing into our independence nor for our identity as maturing individuals. 

The curse of low self esteem has a spiritual cause to it. 

Its roots is found in broken relationships during our early developing years and adulthood. We internalise the criticism and the shame from our parents, relatives and elders, betrayal and broken trust from others whom we have close relationships with. 

Harsh words spoken by our elders, and acts of betrayal and broken trust allows us to bear a grudge of unforgiveness. They are like sharp blades that cut deep into our hearts and sadly, most of us carry it for life being unaware of its implications.

Unfortunately, this allows an open door and a spirit of rejection to latch onto us. 

The spirit of rejection and fear of abandonment manifests itself in many way. 

Perfectionism, fear of commitment, fear of failure, double mindedness, fickleness, insecurity, clinginess, possessiveness, jealousy, and being over bearing and controlling, as well as anxiety. 

They all have its roots in the spirit of rejection and abandonment. 

It is a curse because it affects your life to repeat the same cycle of habits through all your relationships and even in work.

The fear of rejection and abandonment which manifested itself in my life as clinginess, anxiety, possessiveness, an inability to be assertive and being too accomodating.

Thankfully, the Lord opened my eyes to finally recognise it for what it is and how it was destroying my life and my future. 

Even though the Lord had plans for me, until I was able to break free from my own spiritual bondage, I could not step up to receive the blessing that He had prepared for me. 

I thank the Lord that He has enabled me to break free from this curse to start walking into the freedom and to fulfil the calling that the Lord has prepared for me. Amen.  

References: 

https://teachinghumblehearts.com/en/breaking-curse-low-self-esteem/