Fat shaming: Bad or Good?

Fat shaming? 

What the heck is that, you are wondering? It is when one is criticized for being overweight. 

Having lived in Australia for over 16+ years, I have come to understand that in polite society, one does not bring up topics about a person's weight.

It is just not accepted. 

It is common within the social circle that I have that many of my work mates and acquaintances are of the bigger size variety. They tend to be second and third generation Australians, regardless of ethnic backgrounds. However, no one ever mentions about how fat anyone is. 

People in Australia just don't do fat shame. It's just politically incorrect. 

Nonetheless, you'd still see younger ladies who are concerned about their weight making Herbalife concoctions in the kitchen at the workplace pantry. Some do go on Intermittent Fasting. And some personally mention thay they will go on a diet. Some also make the effort to go to th gym. 

Kudos to those individuals who don't wait for a blood test results for the doctor to have to tell them that they need to watch their food intake. 

So imagine my cultural shock when I returned to Malaysia after being abroad for close to 10 years, and everyone I know just nonchalantly tells it to my face that I have 'put on weight'. 

If you are wondering, Asian people in Asia seem to have a fascination with the fatness of another individual. 

'fat shaming' as a concept is not understood here. In fact, people in Asia don't even understand what 'fat shaming' means. 

As an English term, we don't have a similar phrase to describe fat shaming, because it was never a concept here to begin with. 

The first to mention my weight was my mother. In fact, she was nagging me about going out to exercise every day.

Next came my brother. 

Then my cousin brother, George. 

Finally, the elderly aunt at church.

What was the commonality between all four? They never talked about it between themselves, and nonchalantly directly told it to my face 🤣

To be honest, when my mother first brought it up, I just ignored it. I just told her that it was rude to be talking about people's weight, and she was fat shaming me. (Of course, my mother being my mother, had no idea what I was going on about, and ignored me) 

But it only hit home when I realised my brother, cousin, and the elder lady at church started to mention it. 

What made me reflect more about my health was when I met this 59 year old American teacher, who mentioned that she had gone to Perth to visit her ex father in law. 

She mentioned that she met up with her friends, now in their 40s who were whinging about their body aches, and was wondering why weren't they looking after their own health? 

That made me reflect a little more on my own situation. 

As you may have known, I did sign up to the gym. I also did sign up for PT sessions. And yes, I did whinge about fat shaming. But do you know what I realised? 

I realised that I can change my mindset. Going to the gym and finding a trainer is something i can do and do within my control. 

When I say fat shaming, I don't mean those who naturally have a big built (I have friends who have a big built, but they are just big built which is a different body structure). I  mean those who let themselves go and won't do anything about it. 

Is fat shaming in Asian societies necessarily a bad thing? 

I look at it from two sides of the coins having experienced fat shaming, as I always had trouble with maintaining my weight due to PCOS symptoms. 

Yes, people with PCOS symptoms do have hormonal issues that make losing weight a little harder than the normal female. 

Pros:

1) you take stock of your own weight and do something about it, because you can. 

If you have the money, invest in getting yourself a personal trainer to target the right muscle groups and do the exercises properly. 

2) You know you are overweight, because people tell you that you are overweight. 

Yes, PCOS does make it harder for me to lose weight. But I do not let it deter me from working hard to get better.

Remember, your body, your responsibility. 

I am just pleased that my hard work in the last four weeks have paid off. 

I can't wait to see how much progress I will get in the next eight weeks to go!

Cons:

1) when you are much younger and  weak hearted, and a snowflake/strawberry/orange, it is inevitable you will let people's comments get to you and cry internally. 

However though the years, I have had a tougher mental state, and am much older now than in my 20s. I just ignore most people when they are mean to me, or don't have anything productive to add to the conversation. 

Ideally, we shouldn't really be fat shaming anyone, and accept everyone's body type,

but we live in a practical world. And I need to face the fact that I am physically in Asia now. 

Don't waste time trying to explain your position that fat shaming is a bad thing to people who bring it up. but instead change what you can do within your control and show the results to the people who fat shame you, if you're in Asia.