Friday, February 17, 2017

God's Valentine's Day gift to me.

Today I bring into remembrance this incident that happened to me in 2008. Reading it, I realised that when I had spoken to my unit counsellors on that very day in December 2007, I had known in my heart and my spirit that I was going to graduate.
How I knew I had not known, but the knowing and the peace was very strong in my spirit and my heart. The counsellors of course, could not understand why I was not agitated, or why I was peaceful about it, but I had told them it will be fine.

Fast forward ten years later, in a different kind of circumstances, I have now a different kind of incident.

I have taken a break from dating my friend, HT. HT does not believe in God, although he goes to the temple from time to time. He is a kind and caring man, who loves and looks after his family very much.

I had known in my spirit that something was off during our time of courting. It was not that HT was always busy, and never had time to reply my texts or return my calls. It was a little more than that, by the way he had behaved, and the little things he had said about himself like wanting to die early.

HT obviously did not take it kindly that I wanted to take a break from him. I still have no idea what is going on in his mind, but it was only after breaking it off from him that I realised he had many issues.

Telling someone to seek for help, and trying to convince them to seek for help is a futile effort.

In the physical, you would have thought that HT was a very selfish man, and he does as he likes. Those are facts, and those facts are true about him, because he was only thinking about himself. 

However I realised as I peeled the layers beyond those facts, I realised that HT had suffered a broken heart, coming from a childhood filled with memories of substance abuse, and physical abuse from his biological father. His broken heart made him suffer from low self esteem, and many suicidal thoughts. I realised HT needed healing, but I knew it was not something I could do for him.

One day, as I was reading through the Bible, I realised that the the Holy Spirit was drawing me to intercede on HT's behalf. There is nothing that can call a woman to action than praying for her lover's needs and relationships.

I made the decision to fast dinner every night, and to go on a liquid and water fast and pray. The first night was immensely difficult, but it became easier by the passing nights.

There were many times I had felt demotivated. Praying to an unseen God, and seeing nothing happen in the physical, I was constantly tempted to give up on praying for HT.
 
Five days into my fasting, it happened to be Valentine's Day. Driving to the mall this morning, I was having a conversation with the Lord.

"Lord, I know Valentine's Day is one of those cheesy American traditions that has reached the shores everywhere, and is so over-rated, and so really annoying.....

However, if there is one gift that you could give me this day, at least from you to me, is to know that You would pay a special visit to my friend, HT."

Then I totally forgot all about it.

Yet, when I was driving home tonight, I was looking at some bill boards, and the words "Overflow" stuck out at me.

And again, the words stuck out at me later tonight... when I was browsing through something online..

"Psalms 23:5 - You anoint my head with oil; my cup OVERFLOWS". 

I had no idea what it meant, so I looked it up. So this was taken from the psalm of the Shepherd- Shepherds anoint the heads of their sheep with oil to protect them from pestilence, diseases and death. And, apparently an overflowing cup meant "drinking water, and refreshment' to a sheep....

That was the Shepherd's answer to me.

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