Thursday, August 13, 2015

Tasmania: Searching for God

My plain vanilla boarding pass....
Trust the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight. Proverbs 3:5-6.

By the time I publish this post, I would already have arrived in Hobart. When I made my trip back to Sydney at the end of February this year, it was with the intention and planning to return home to Malaysia in time for my brother's wedding..
The funniest thing about planning is  humans can plan all they want, but it's the Lord's will that prevail. That is something I am still trying to work out what it means....

Among the things that has hit me most in the first half of this year was my social and emotional involvement, and kitchen practicum in Lentil As Anything. It is a vegan restaurant that operates in the hippy area in the suburb of Newtown.

I've asked God countless times the reasons He has brought me to Lentils, as my time here has been filled with ups and downs, 
Among the many reasons in retrospect I've arrived to, is possibly to know the culture of Newtown.

Prior to this, I've never socialised with people who are queer, or played for the other side (for lack of a better terminology).

I am reminded of this conversation I have with Hannah (the Volunteer Coordinator at Lentils) , that had Jesus lived in these times, these would be the people he would socialise and fraternise with. These would be the people that Jesus would show His love to.

In the times of the Bible (2000 years ago), Jesus socialised with people who were  hated by society, i.e tax collectors, who taxed the poor heavily and to make a huge cut of profit for themselves.

Yet, He showed his love and compassion to them when they were unlikeable and unlovable, despite what others in society might have said about Him.

Along the way, I've met other characters at Lentils who have made an impression on me... Among them, is a new Christian brother, Dai whom I've struck up a friendship with.

I sometimes mention to him that perhaps among the reasons for coming to Lentils was to meet him, as it was the most unlikely place for me to meet a fellow Believer.
His zeal and faith as a new believer in the Lord has also rubbed off on me, challenging my own faith to think about my own relationship with the Lord.


Last but not least, is my friendship with Jeebak. He comes from Nepal, and works as a floor manager in Lentils. He came to Australia  to pursue his post grad studies in Social Entrepreneurship.

After working alongside Jeebak for months, I've found him to be a person who has much compassion, heart and love for his fellowmen. I'm not sure why, but his compassion and determination to help others is something that moves my heart.

Regardless of what happens, my only wish I pray is that Jeebak will one day come to know the saving love and grace of God that I have been blessed to come into.

In everything that happens in our lives, there is a season where we stay, and where we go. Although it was an intention to take a break to come to Hobart, I did not feel compelled to come until I was fully convinced that it was God's timing... 

Many things have not been going well for me in the last few weeks, where I have been feeling emotionally tired and distressed. Hence this week, God in His wisdom is yet preparing the path for me...

I finally received confirmation from three unrelated different persons 'to take a break'. When the third confirmation came true, I felt great relief pouring over me, and it was then I knew that God was telling me to go..

I would like to end this entry with a personal reflection.
I do not know where I am going, but I have decided to follow Jesus. I have strived enough on my own, and I want to find rest in Him.

My love for Jesus surpasses all my other loves, and my own plans. I had made a commitment at the age of 25 to follow Him, and I will continue to follow Him for rest of my years.

For I know He will supply all my needs, both financial, emotional and physical. When I put my life into His Hands, I know He will bring into my life all and more than I myself could find.

All I have to do is to remember each day that amidst my own burdens, to seek and trust that He has something even better worked out for me than I ever could find.

For nothing, whether it be family, friends, or wrecking circumstances can separate me from the love of God when He himself has shown his love for me when He died on the cross for us when we we were still sinners.

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